Dating your Spouse on a regular basis is a great thing to do. Why not make a New Year’s resolution to do it more?
50% of Americans will make New Year’s resolutions but only 22% will succeed in fulfilling what they’ve set out to do.
Those are not good odds. There is actually a better way.
The Non-Resolution Solution
Form a habit that is sure to succeed rather than make a resolution that is likely to fail.
Habits are often thought of a negative but habits can be good or bad.
Brushing your teeth and tying your shoes are things you learned consciously at first. But now they are automatic and you don’t even have to think about them. You just do them.
Habits work that way.
I am working on making dating a good habit. Here is how.
Habits are cobwebs at first; cables at last. ~ Chinese Proverbs
1. Start with something small
Don’t over reach. That is actually one of the reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail.
Start by committing to do something regularly.
If your current practice is dating once a year it may seem a bit much to decide to go out on a full fledged date every week.
For smaller ideas check our post 75 Microdate Ideas. The key is to start with a small, repeatable action.
2. Make a very specific decision
Lack of specificity is another reason why many resolutions don’t work. Saying “I will date my spouse more this year” is almost doomed to fail. The more specific you can be the better.
Decide on exactly how often and exactly when you will date your spouse. For example if you are going to date once a month, decide exactly what day of the month and what time.
3. Set up an automatic reminder
Habits happen automatically are triggered by something. You need a reminder.
If you are aiming at a weekly or monthly habit put it on the calendar. Use an electronic calendar and set up a recurring appointment with a reminder.
For developing daily habits the LIFT APP is fantastic tool.
You can also sign up for our weekly Tip & Reminder email. These emails provide great ideas and also cue you to take action.
4. Make yourself accountable
Tell someone about your decision. Since you are dating your spouse it would be good for him or her to be in on your plans but do not lean on them alone for accountability.
Share with a friend who is supportive. Declare your intention on Facebook.
Use the comments below share with us!
Stay tuned for details about our first Spouse Dates Challenge. The Spouse Dates Challenge is a 10 week program that will be open to a limited number of people to help them develop better dating habits. We will be announcing details next week.