Amanda and Elliot have been married for two years during which time they have navigated 2 businesses, a 4 and a half hour drive, several major personal tragedies and some pretty big personality differences. They are enjoying each other and the sunny weather where they live, down under in Australia.
How did you first meet?
After a couple years of seeing each other around at conferences there was this moment (AKA metaphorical baseball bat to the face) where I realized that Amanda’s really hot.
Like really hot.
She’s also really nice, cares about others and is very motivated.
As for myself I just had blue hair… not sure what Amanda saw in that.
What was your best date ever and what made it so outstanding?
6 course chocolate degustation dinner! 6 courses!!! Unbelievable!
Although we could barely crawl out the front door (due to our coco-coma) we made our way to a gorgeous park nearby by where Elliott asked me to marry him. Beautiful night!
How do other people describe you as a couple?
Amanda’s really nice. Elliot’s a bit inappropriate.
What’s one of the biggest challenges you have faced as a couple and how has that challenge affected your marriage? How would you encourage other couples that may be facing this challenge?
One of the big reasons I finally married Amanda was she didn’t need a hero – she ran her own business, managed things at church and generally could just get stuff done. I like this in a women.
In the space of a few months Amanda’s dad died, her grandfather died, and she took over a business that was going downhill. Amanda soldiered on – as I would have expected – but all this slowly took it’s toll.
I finally (slowly) realized that some days she just needed a husband to care about her. I guess I didn’t think that getting married meant I’d have to stop making it all about myself so quickly…thankfully there’s no kids yet!
You recently launched a new website, Fight For Her. Can you tell us a little bit about the concept behind your website?
I love change – thrive on it! So after 15 months of being married (when life became normal again) I was getting bored. I realized we didn’t really go on dates anymore and although we were getting along I could see that if something didn’t change it would end up looking something like the US economy after the GFC…
At this point we started doing the occasional date night. They weren’t anything big or fancy – we just booked the time out, turned the phones off and did something out of the ordinary.
After a few weeks, however, I was trying to think of something to do and… and…. nothing! Nothing! Before we got married the list of date nights used to mount up like dirty laundry – they were everywhere!
After some time a date was born – but it got me thinking that maybe I’m not the only guy to ever run out of fun stuff to do. So after some Googling I realized that there aren’t that many sites like Spouse Dates around that had any real value to add. I figure we could at least share whatever date night ideas we had done together and decided to put them online..
What was one of the most surprising things you learned about marriage since you got married?
There’s a lot of ‘un’ times. You know – washing up, rushing to work, asking how their day way etc… these aren’t picturesque scenes from a chick flick. They’re just… ‘un’.
‘Un’ is a hard fight to win. I’d rather take on Chuck Norris than ‘Un’. It’s like the zombie hoard of inevitability. We’re still learning to add enough ‘awesome’ to balance out ‘un’ but we’re getting there!
What are some marriage resources that have helped you build a better marriage?
We did a few sessions with a marriage coach before we tied the knot. It was one of our old pastors who we got along well with.
Also, although everyone says it, the 5 Love Languages concept is actually really helpful!
Tell us about an “Aha!” moment that you have had in your marriage and how that has helped you become a better spouse.
I always thought women like getting flowers because it meant that their partner was thinking about them. After about 12 months I realized that Amanda actually just likes getting flowers…
When you think about your future together, what are you most excited about?
We love having having a common adventure to live together – something we can both work towards. We have seen some old warehouses converted into NY style apartments and are thinking it sounds like a lot of fun! (and probably a fair amount of stress)
What would you do for a date together if you only had $5 and 5 minutes to plan it?
Geocaching! It’s like modern day treasure hunting using an app on your phone!