My wife, Chrissy, and I met in college but our first memories of each other are quite different.
I first noticed her in a class that we took together. She caught my eye. I thought she was pretty.
But did she notice me? Nope. She has absolutely no recollection of ever seeing me in that class.
Her first memory of me is about a year later. I had taken a year off from college and came back to visit my sister, who was a student there. At that time Chrissy was my sister’s friend. Not only that, but she was her roommate. It was upon our arrival at the school cafeteria that she remembers meeting me.
And what was her first impression?
She thought I was weird.
You see, a friend and I had driven for eight hours from Maine to Pennsylvania. We were both quiet guys and upon our arrival to the school we claimed that we had not talked the entire trip. I am sure we were exaggerating, at least a little, but as a result, Chrissy’s first impression was that I was weird.
Getting to Know Each Other
We have been getting to know each other ever since. And, even though I still think she is pretty and she still thinks I am weird, we are much better acquainted.
We know each other better now than we ever have. But even still, sometimes it strikes me how much more there is yet to know.
Dating is a fun way to continue to get to know each other.
Two powerful date ideas to help you get better acquainted
1. Double Date
Arrange for a double date. To get the most out of this go out with a couple you don’t know well.
Pay special attention to your spouse as you meet this other couple. This is a great way to gain a fresh perspective and get to know your spouse better.
See our prior post: Double Date: Get a New View of Your Spouse for more on this.
2. Date Night Questions
Use one or more of the following lists of questions on your next date together.
50 Questions to Get to Know Someone from Humor that Works
50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on a Date Night from Zach Terry
45 Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone from Life Hack
21 Questions to Ask on Date Night by Dave Willis
Don’t allow yourself to become too familiar with each other. To really know and be known is critical for healthy intimacy. Asking questions is great way to continue to get to know each other better.
At the onset of romantic relationships we seek to become familiar with one another. After all, that’s the only way that we can truly know of each other. If love and intimacy are the goals they can only be achieved through a more intimate knowing of one another. The difficulties that marriages endure are not derived from this intimacy, but are caused by a turning away from each other. ~ Mel Schwartz
Turn toward each other on a double date or with these questions.
Better yet, try a double date and ask the questions! How well do you really know your spouse? You may be surprised!
Tell us, what is your first memory of your spouse?
What is your spouse’s first memory of you?
Do your memories match or are they different like ours?
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