Today’s featured Spouse Date couple is Ken and Holly Cramer!
Ken and Holly live in Gloucester, Virginia, just 20 minutes from Williamsburg. They have been married for 25 years and have three children: Heather, 20, Alyssa, 18, and Jeremy, 16. They have served together in ministry at Lighthouse Worship Center since 1990 and have been senior pastors since 1998. Ken holds a BS in Bible, an MA in Christian Ministry and has a D.Min in Global Leadership. He has preached in 26 nations. Ken’s passions are life coaching, training leaders, missions, entrepreneur-ism and fly-fishing. Holly loves being with her family, reading, and working puzzles of all kinds.
How did you first meet?
We met in class at college.
What was your first date and what encouraged you to keep dating?
Our first date was a hike at Valley Forge National park. We looked forward to sharing together our common interests and perspectives. Mutual attraction was and still is definitely there.
What was your best date ever and what made it so outstanding?
Our best date ever was the Spring Banquet night in 1988 when we got engaged.
How do people describe you as a couple?
Content, passionate, and fun. We get positive comments frequently on how we show love and honor toward each other.
What’s one of the biggest challenges you have faced as a couple and how has that challenge affected your marriage? How would you encourage other couples that may be facing this challenge?
Our hardest year was working together while having a fundamental disagreement about a coworker. I wanted to handle it one way and she wanted to handle it another way. It was a constant irritation in our relationship, because we work so closely together. As a result, we set some guidelines about when we would talk about “work” and when we would not. Once the door to the bedroom closed, we only talked about our relationship or our kids, nothing more and nothing else. This strengthened our relationship because we both agreed on the boundaries. Eventually the coworker moved on and the issue resolved itself, but we learned a valuable lesson in guarding our communication.
What is something you are most proud to have created together?
Besides our kids…we like to speak to couples about their marriages. We have done several marriage conferences and we enjoy speaking side by side on those topics. We launched Little Lights Childcare Center in Gloucester in 1999 and it continues to thrive and serve 90 plus families in our community. We have served the same congregation for 25 years and watched many marriages and families grow successfully.
What are some marriage resources that have helped you in your efforts to build a better marriage?
Holly and I are Prepare and Enrich relationship assessment certified. This tool has become a valuable asset in helping prepare couples for marriage.
Tell us about an “Aha!” moment that you have had in your marriage and how that has helped you become a better spouse.
I have learned to clean up after myself, so that my wife only sees me as a husband and not as another child. I want her thinking great thoughts about me while I am not around. (K)
I have learned to give up my right to be “right”. There is more to be valued in our marriage than being “right”. In addition, I have come to a greater understanding of the value of offering not just love to my husband but respect as well. (H)
When you think about your future together, what are you most excited about?
Traveling around the world, visiting our kids and grandkids, and ministering together and being financially free to do so.
What is your idea of the ideal date?
We like a relaxed atmosphere where we can enjoy each other’s company. Nice weather at the beach, mountains, park, or even our front porch is fantastic.