Five years ago we bought a boat, kicked the kids out of the house and went sailing. Living and working together twenty-four seven had a powerful effect on our marriage of twenty years.
Owning a boat changed our priorities. The boat came first. If you think that is a recipe for potential relationship disaster, I agree with you.
The Storm of Argument
On the ocean you are entirely at the mercy of the elements. This influences the way we communicate. Shouting above a howling wind, to haul a sail or grab a line or the helm, does not allow for pleasantries and good manners.
Afterwards you may feel attacked or devalued and you react. On a boat, you can’t walk out or slam a door, so you fight.
Another fertile breeding ground for arguments is being together all the time. We have to let off steam in some way. The only reason we have not yet killed each other is because I’m not ready for jail just yet.
Conflict, misunderstandings and arguments are part of our life. We cannot change that. It’s easy to argue; things go wrong, stuff break, the stress and anxiety of sailing, dealing with bad weather and unforeseen situations.
Our Anchor through the Storm
My spouse and I are good friends as well as marriage partners. I believe that friends can argue, be misunderstood, and still be friends. Our marriage works the same way. [Tweet “A little patience and kindness goes a long way.”]A chilled glass of wine after a long day, a good meal, conversation and a real date on land now and again, make all the difference.
We love each other even when we don’t like each other. That’s the reality of our life. What ties us most strongly is our mutual love for the ocean, our boat Mojito, and living life on our terms, close to nature.
Every morning at sunrise, we will have coffee, while sitting on the aft deck and gaze in wonder at our world. A world that changes every day. These past five years we have travelled to fourteen countries, sailed thousands of miles, crossed the Atlantic, experienced every kind of weather, except hurricanes, seen amazing wild life, like orca whales.
We have sailed through some epic arguments and fights. Our marriage has outlasted many trials and tribulations, and if we keep talking, arguing, making love and dancing on the waves of life, I expect it’ll keep working.
This guest post is by Patricia Storbeck from Mojito and Me. She loves sailing on her yacht Mojito, together with her spouse, James. Together they dance on the waves of life, as they sail along the edge of heaven. She shares bits of wisdom and art through words and her photography. She loves ice-cream.