I’ll never forget the first date I had with my spouse, with whom I have now been married for six years. It was ‘different’ from the word go. We met on an online dating site.
My husband was the first person who asked to meet me in person.
I was new to the online dating game and had signed up on a whim. Actually, it was a close workmate who signed me up. She had just met the man of her dreams. She assured me that there were many ‘normal people’ who turned to online dating owing to busy schedules and the difficulty of finding potential romantic partners with similar interests.
At first I was worried about seeming desperate. Wasn’t online dating for those who (for some strange reason) could not find a ‘normal’ date?
Then again, I wasn’t doing so well in the dating game. Having recently come out of a recovery center, I was feeling very insecure about my social skills.
The truth was that this is a very busy world and it is so easy to feel alone despite living and working in a big city. I grudgingly acceded to my friend’s fervent please and she signed me up.
What grabbed me was…
My husband’s profile attracted me for various reasons. He stated that he was into sports and hated smoking! Above all, I found him to be very attractive. He had a killer smile. I recall the first time I ever saw his profile shot. He was wearing a beanie and smiling in the middle of a wild snow blizzard.
When he suggested we meet up, I couldn’t resist.
We met in a public place in the city center. Curious as to where he would take me, I was surprised when he announced he would not be taking me to dinner or on a walk. He was taking me, he said, to a Red Bull ‘River Jumping’ competition.
What, you might wonder, did that involve? Nothing other than watching crazily clad characters taking amazing flying contraptions and diving headlong into a river!
I laughed like I hadn’t laughed in years, watching people dressed like entire dishes, or like Mary Poppins (umbrella in hand), attempting to defy gravity in the most preposterous ways possible!
After that we had dinner together, but the most magical thing about the date was the madness and fun.
Six years and two kids later…
Six years and two kids later, we still make it a point to have dates, especially wacky dates involving activities such as watching a performance art show, or catching a cool comedy show. It’s got to make little sense yet be loads of fun.
During these dates, we let the laughter flow and recall the magic that first brought us together.
Eternal Sunshine of the Endless Dates…
One of my favorite films of all time would have to be Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
It is the story of a couple who were once tremendously in love, but who lose the magic owing to small arguments, lack of effort and the general ‘wear and tear’ all relationships are subject to.
One of them decides to ‘erase’ their entire relationship, or at least the entire memory of it.
The film captures the wish of so many couples to go back to day one and to relive once again all the feelings and sensations that make the early stages of a relationship so captivating.
Marriage is not a self-sufficient machine! This is why continuing to date when you are married is so important.
Dating is the ideal way to show our partner that their emotions and wishes mean something to us, and that we do not take them for granted.
I’m already dreaming up my next date with my husband (I hear the musical Willy Wonka will soon be on in London… and I know the two of us will be sitting in the front row, reliving the childlike bond that first brought us together).
Today’s post is by Spouse Dates fan Jennifer Beaton. She is a freelance writer who believes in the importance of dating your spouse.